


You Will Have to Learn to Share

by Aansero



Series: When Next You Will Hurt [1]
Category: The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Mutual Non-Con, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:45:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aansero/pseuds/Aansero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maia takes up Tethimar's offer to go to Eshoravee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Will Have to Learn to Share

**Author's Note:**

> With immense help from my beta, [Island_of_Reil](http://archiveofourown.org/users/island_of_reil)!

Csevet had been the only one to warn Maia from Eshoravee, though not in words; when Maia had asked why he'd treated Tethimar's letter like a snake he had shaken his head and murmured a polite but mechanical deferral. Maia hadn't pressed, put off by something in the tone of Csevet's voice.  
  
So when the matter of the invitation was brought up at the end of the Corazhas, Maia's only defence, apart from _we do not like Dach'osmer Tethimar_ , was that he did not want to abandon the court – or Idra, Ino, and Mireän. Maia did not look at Csevet but couldn't stop remembering the way he had flinched from Tethimar's letter.  
  
Plans had been made before he could stop them, it felt; Maia left for Eshoravee still bewildered and hurt and unable to let go of the sight of Dazhis kneeling in blood in a dark, ugly courtyard. Cala and Beshelar were silent as they sat on either side of him. Maia watched Csevet climb aboard a different carriage, and Csevet's face was blank with horror.  
  
The first thing to go wrong was that the Untheileneise Guard, who had meant to accompany Maia, never arrived – by some accounts waylaid, by others having received orders to return once Maia was in Eshoravee.  
  
The second, and third, and fourth things to go wrong happened one after the other, and Maia realised gradually that he was not meant to leave.  
  
That evening Tethimar requested Maia's presence in his personal chambers.  


* * * * *  


Maia didn't fully understand what Tethimar was saying; he stood still, wordless, and in that silence Csevet stepped forwards.  
  
'Tonight,' he said, 'you may deal with us instead, Dach'osmer.'  
  
Tethimar paused, and his nonplussed expression might have been deeply amusing in a different scenario. Instead, Maia could only watch, frozen, as the implications settled over him like snow.  
  
'And why,' Tethimar said, 'would we care for thee?'  
  
Csevet stood a little taller, despite his trembling ears; the noise of his earrings filled the silence. 'Because we have met before,' he said, voice tight and thin but loud. 'And we wager there are few scars on your skin that were put there by ones who later offer themselves to you.'  
  
Csevet paused, opening his mouth as if to continue but managed only a short, shaky gasp. He clenched his hands into fists and didn't look away from Tethimar, who had straightened, his eyes widening slightly from bemusement to a hungry surprise. Csevet's ears flicked, like a flinch, though no one had moved. Then Tethimar laughed.  
  
'Serenity!' he said, looking back to Maia. Maia shrunk under his gaze, though Tethimar didn't seem to notice. 'Did you truly promote this whore to your secretary? We are all the more sorely disappointed we lost the chance to try him last time, then!'  
  
Tethimar stepped forward fast enough to grab the collar of Csevet's jacket and pull him close, and twisted the fingers of his other hand through Csevet's braids. Csevet pulled away reflexively, not fast or strong enough to free himself, and cried out in pain when Tethimar jerked him back.  
  
The cry hit Maia like a slap. 'No!' he said, loud, desperate, taking half a step forward before faltering. His hands came up as if praying. 'I won't let you – we forbid it–'  
  
'Sit down, Serenity.' Tethimar's voice cut through Maia's with ease. 'Your whore has already made the bargain. You will have to learn to share, we're afraid.'  
  
Maia's hands were trembling and he couldn't tell if it were in anger or fear. 'No. We are still emperor. We won't allow it.'  
  
Csevet stood trapped between Maia and Tethimar, so that when Tethimar moved – did something – Csevet cried out: a sharp, broken noise – Maia could not see what. He flinched at the sound, heart racing in familiar panic, throat and stomach clenching as if about to throw up. His feet would not move.  
  
'Serenity,' Csevet said, rasping out the word. 'Please. Let us do this for you. Please.'  
  
Maia shook his head. 'No–'  
  
Tethimar cut him off. 'Serenity,' he said, throwing out the word like a joke. 'You won't change our mind now. Sit down like a good boy, or we will find a way to keep this little whore safe and ready for us whilst we deal with you, and we assure you, you will find that option rather less appealing.'  
  
Unmoving, Maia refused the urge to glance behind him, feeling the absence of his nohecharei as keenly as he'd felt their presence on that first day. Then Tethimar kicked Csevet's feet out from under him and shoved him to his knees, and Maia's half-formed protest jumbled up and died before it passed his teeth.  
  
With a hand still in Csevet's hair, holding him upright and tightly stretched, Tethimar pressed one booted foot down between Csevet's legs. Csevet jerked, back arching as far as it could; his hands flew to grasp uselessly at Tethimar's boot.  
  
'Serenity,' Tethimar said. 'This is your last chance. If you want to have him back after we're done, sit down.'  
  
Maia sat, barely feeling the chair beneath him, and the act in itself felt like deepest betrayal. A sob crept up his throat and out his mouth before he realised it was there and could stop it. His heart ached with a sharp grief. In front of him Tethimar made a noise of satisfaction.  
  
'There,' he said to Csevet, neither letting go of Csevet's hair or removing his foot. 'Thy master does want thee after all. Art a lucky thing, to be pampered so.' He pushed Csevet's face to his crotch and held it there. 'And now,' he continued, 'we would have thy pretty mouth around us. We have heard wonderful things about thy mouth.'  
  
Csevet's hands were trembling as he let go of Tethimar's boot and reached up to his belt instead. Maia closed his eyes, hearing the roar of his own breathing in his ears, and fabric rustle and something wet–  
  
His stomach heaved though nothing came up. In front of him Tethimar laughed again, a breathier, heavier sound than before.  
  
'Why, are you becoming jealous?' he called. 'We must admit he is something of a disappointment. Perhaps he's simply used to a different mouthful. Are goblins very different from elves? But of course, Serenity, forgive us, we should not ask you these crass things.'  
  
A gagging sound, then a whimper torn through with a long gasp for air. 'Whore,' Tethimar said. 'How are we in comparison to thy master?'  
  
Csevet coughed. 'Small,' he spat. Maia opened his eyes in time to see Tethimar backhand him. For a second no one spoke or moved, save for Csevet panting.  
  
'Well,' Tethimar said. He looked over to Maia with hooded eyes. 'There we go. No need for jealousy. But you must be getting bored of this, and we won't be done for some while yet. Why don't you join in? Perhaps the sight of you will be enough to encourage your pet to do a better job?'  
  
Maia tensed in the chair even before the full realisation set in. He opened his mouth but couldn't find the words. Tethimar, after guiding Csevet forcefully back to his cock, grinned at Maia. 'No need to get up, Serenity. We will do all the heavy work. But we are sure you would enjoy taking yourself to hand as you sit there and watch.'  
  
'We will not,' Maia hissed. Tethimar didn't reply, but yanked Csevet away, took a small step back and kicked him in the chest. Csevet folded down without a sound and Tethimar kicked him again. Then he knelt and grabbed Csevet by the throat, lifting his upper body just far enough to bring him back down to the floor, hard. Csevet's head hit the stone tiles with a crack. Tethimar looked up, his hand still around Csevet's throat.  
  
'Do what we tell you,' Tethimar said. Csevet wasn't moving. 'And do it now.'  
  
Looking down at Csevet, splayed, motionless, for just a split second Maia was absolutely sure he was dead. Lying on the floor, arms at an awkward angle, that awful crack ringing in Maia's ears – then Csevet coughed, body jerking as much as it could with Tethimar pinning him, and curled up with his knees to his chest. He moaned and retched dryly.  
  
The rest of the world came crashing down with the sound. Relief flooded him but it was dizzying, sickening, and mingled equally with horror. Hardly knowing what he was doing Maia fumbled with his trousers, at once terrified to do what Tethimar ordered and terrified not to. The thought that at any moment, if he was not fast enough, Tethimar might continue and hurt Csevet further, might permanently damage him – might this time kill Csevet.  
  
At the first touch of his hand on his cock a violent shiver ran up Maia's spine. His stomach clenched. He grasped his cock and, biting down on the inside of his lip, dragged his fist up the flaccid length of it. His stomach lurched. He stared at the floor in front of him but could feel Tethimar's dark eyes on him, like standing too close to a fire. He couldn't stop seeing Csevet on the floor, held tight at the neck, bright in mind's eye.  
  
The words _we can't do it_ almost burst from his mouth but he stopped them. Tethimar wouldn't accept that. Tethimar, with his hand still on Csevet's throat, still kneeling above Csevet's vulnerable body. Maia bit harder on his lip and moved his fist. He felt hysteria bubbling up within him. This was an absurd nightmare, surely?  
  
Tethimar, after a long moment, made a thoughtful sound. 'Smaller, thou sayest,' he said conversationally. Then, to Maia, 'We suppose even whores have their favourites. You must treat him very well, to have him so enamoured. Was he as troublesome for you in the beginning as he was with us?'  
  
Maia's hand faltered and his half-hardness died. Half a dozen words came tumbling up his throat, and tangled in his mouth. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, remaining silent. He didn't know what to do. Panic made every thought flap around in his chest like a frightened bird. Should he reply to Tethimar? Would not replying make him angry? What could he even say if he were to speak?  
  
Another moment. 'Come, whore,' Tethimar said. 'Up. Perhaps thy master lets thee lie on thy back all day and night, but such laziness won't do for us.'  
  
Maia didn't see but could hear them stand, and Csevet stumble. A small cry, muffled, and the sound of fabric tearing. 'You would serve yourself better,' Csevet said, thick and frightened and still defiant, 'to speak less. You are much less clever than you think you are.'  
  
Tethimar laughed, but it had a darker tone to it than before. 'So says the one,' he said, 'who is naked, with a knife to his belly. We will have thee on the floor after all. Get down before art thrown there.'  
  
The blackness behind his closed eyes unbearable, Maia opened them to Csevet sinking to his knees, and Tethimar shoving him onto his back with a boot at his chest. Csevet's clothes lay around them on the floor, cut away or ripped from him and discarded like rags. Csevet's hands were shaking as he clutched at their remains, eyes shut and head twisting to one side as Tethimar knelt between his legs.  
  
'Thou wert right,' Tethimar said, softly. He lay his hands on Csevet's hips, stroking the skin there with his thumbs. 'We have never had this opportunity before. No one has ever scarred us then offered themselves to us. So we thank thee. And knowest thou that we will do our very best to make thee suffer for it.'  
  
Nausea roiled in Maia's stomach. His erection seemed to reach deep into his body like the roots of something poisonous, growing into and tightening around his guts, burrowing into his spine. He couldn't stop watching as Tethimar pressed three fingers into Csevet's mouth, smoothed the saliva over his own cock and lifted one of Csevet's ankles up and over his own shoulder. Csevet convulsed once as Tethimar pushed into him; he made a sharp noise, then a gulping sob, then covered his mouth with both hands. Tethimar began moving his hips, slowly at first then speeding up as he shifted position, leaning forward over Csevet's body.  
  
Maia's eyes stung. When had he started to cry? His hand fell still on his cock. His cheeks were wet, his skin itching under the tears. Tethimar's face was flushed and his breathing heavy. He still wore his trousers, unbuttoned, and the noise of fabric against flesh was sickening for being utterly mundane. Maia flinched when Tethimar turned his head to look at him.  
  
'Serenity, have you become bored already? Perhaps you would like to suggest an alternative position? A faster pace? Slower? What can we do to please you?' He rocked his hips, still watching. 'Ah,' he said. His voice was thick. 'Is it that you feel we are mistreating your whore? We can give him pleasure too. Or we can whip him, if that's what you enjoy.'  
  
Maia turned away. His hand stuttered as he jerked at his cock, too rough but unable to stop. In front of him the rhythmic sounds became louder, more forceful, punctuated by half-cries, little gasps and sobs and bitten off whimpers. It didn't sound like Csevet at all. It sounded like an animal, like foggy memories of a fire screen and blood on the floor.  
  
Csevet made a noise, different from before. Maia looked without wanting to, and it took him a moment to see the cause: Tethimar's hand around Csevet's cock, pulling at it, absurdly gently, in time with his thrusts. Csevet had locked his arms together over his face, his hands balled into fists.  
  
'He is enjoyable,' Tethimar said, 'we will admit. But we wonder at his shyness.' He paused, breathing hard, still inside Csevet. 'Serenity, surely he is not this coy in your bed. Could you not request he show his lovely face for us both? It is after all such a waste to not be able to enjoy it in the moment.'  
  
Something in his tone made Maia look up and catch Tethimar's eye. Maia shook his head mutely; Tethimar smiled back, rocking his hips lightly. 'Do this little favour for us,' he said, forcing a terrible playfulness into his voice. He shifted his grip on Csevet's hip, fingers digging in around the hip bone as if he were trying to tear it out. His other hand tightened on Csevet's cock until Csevet's back arched, though his arms remained where they were.  
  
The air trembled in Maia's throat, which didn't seem to want to form words. His first attempt came out barely more than a croak. He swallowed. 'Csevet,' he said. 'Csevet, can you – your arms–' The words jumbled up and refused to emerge. He swallowed again but it did no good. 'Please,' he managed. Was this the right thing? Was it wrong? He couldn't tell.  
  
Csevet didn't respond immediately, and as the seconds passed Maia began to wonder if he'd even heard. Dread filled him as he realised that Tethimar would only make him say it again and again until Csevet obeyed, and he didn't know if he could. The thought terrified him. He realised he wanted Csevet to just do it, just show his face, it couldn't be that hard, surely–  
  
Crippling shame followed as closely as pain followed a slap – that he could pity himself when it was Csevet on the floor, naked, and Tethimar – his eyes blurred. The fear wouldn't go away. Why wasn't Csevet doing anything? Shame burnt up into his face, settling like clay inside his skull.  
  
'Please,' he said, raw and wet. 'We're sorry, please, Csevet, please just do it–'  
  
Csevet's arms slid apart, falling away to his sides. He still hid his face from Maia as best he could, turning his head to press his cheek to the floor. His eyes were closed but his mouth was open, gasping, his lower lip bitten and red.  
  
'He was prettier when we first met him,' Tethimar said, half panting, half laughing as he resumed thrusting. 'You should have seen him then, Serenity. But look, we notice you are losing interest. Perhaps a closer look will help? Come here. The view is much better, here.'

It wasn't worth it to refuse. Maia got to his knees and shuffled forwards, stopping at Csevet's head, just out of reach. 'Closer, Serenity,' Tethimar said. His hand moved on Csevet's cock, too near to ignore. Csevet, half-hard, trembled between them, jostled by Tethimar's thrusts. His eyes remained tight shut. 'Here, hold his head for us. No doubt it is your touch he desires, but we cannot have the emperor stoop so low as to pleasure a whore. We wouldn't do this for anyone other than you.'  
  
Maia shuffled closer still and lifted Csevet's head onto his lap. He didn't move as Tethimar pulled out of Csevet in order to tug him onto his front, forcing his shoulders down and head onto Maia's lap whilst lifting him to his knees, and push back in. Tethimar's hand curled underneath Csevet and around his cock. Csevet's breath burnt into Maia's skin through his trousers, his cheek pressed against Maia's thighs, moving limply with Tethimar's thrusts; the top of his head brushed Maia's cock with every movement. Maia cradled the base of his skull in one hand and didn't dare look up: Tethimar, a giant, looming presence, near enough to touch. Near enough to hear every breath, every rustle of fabric. A wet sound.  
  
'Serenity,' Tethimar said, chiding. 'The poor creature has been at it a while now; don't drag it out.'  
  
Maia shuddered. Csevet would not open his mouth beyond the barest gap, and Maia could not make himself force his jaw open. He touched Csevet's lips with the pads of his fingers and Csevet convulsed, clenched his mouth shut. Then, rocking with Tethimar, he coughed, choking, and opened his mouth. His teeth were bloody; he'd bitten his tongue. His eyes were unfocused and red-rimmed. With another convulsion that twisted down his spine and into his limbs he turned his head, holding himself up with one hand and with the other guiding Maia's cock to his mouth. His tongue curled under the flaccid length of it and he swallowed, as if trying to pull it down his throat. As his head moved back and forth the motion tugged at Maia's cock, sliding in and out of Csevet's red, wet lips.  
  
Without warning frissions of pleasure shot up Maia's spine, into his skull, and pooled hot and tight between his legs. A high-pitched whine escaped his throat before he could stop it and he clamped a hand over his mouth. _Oh, goddesses – this should not–_  
  
He didn't dare touch Csevet, so he wrapped one arm around his own upper chest and muffled himself with the other. Csevet continued to bob his head, bumping the tip of Maia's erect cock against the back of his throat, either swallowing deliberately or gagging, Maia could not tell. Maia shut his eyes, tears forming. His hands tightened into fists, fingernails biting into his flesh. He did not want this – this was Csevet being forced upon him, Tethimar raping them both – but his whole body had tensed with an ever-building pleasure, like the roots before had become a hand that knew precisely where to clench, forceful, holding his insides in its tight fist. He didn't want it but his body did, eagerly so. After only a few moments his cock was fully, wholly, dizzyingly hard. His balls had drawn up beneath him, and he could feel himself flush, hot – his face, his ears, his chest. He'd never had anyone touch his cock before.  
  
_This is wrong. Shouldst not be feeling this. Not now. Not like this._  
  
Csevet did something with his tongue that squeezed Maia's cock just below the head, and ran the pressure down to its base. Maia whimpered from behind his hand, hating himself for it. _What will he think of thee that this is thy reaction to his rape?_  
  
Then the hot, wet pressure stopped and Maia was left gritting his teeth and only barely managed to stifle his hips as they bucked upwards. He opened his eyes – Tethimar had finished, fastened his trousers and when had that happened? – Csevet's back was arched, and his head had slipped from Maia's lap to the floor. His fingers gripped the stone as if he feared it would fall away from under him. His bare feet flinched against the floor; his toes curled.  
  
Tethimar's hand still worked underneath Csevet's body, and Csevet's pants turned to broken moans, soft _ah, ah–_  
  
Csevet came silently, and muffled the tears that followed by crawling back up Maia's lap and swallowing down his softening cock. Tethimar sat back on his heels and wiped his hand on the remains of Csevet's shirt.  
  
Then Maia stopped being aware of what Tethimar was doing, and what Csevet was doing, save for his mouth, lips, and tongue, the soft palate and hard roof of his mouth, the way his throat tightened and the friction of it all as Csevet bobbed his head up and down. Like clockwork, wound tighter and tighter, and Maia couldn't stop his hips as they pushed up into Csevet's mouth.  
  
_An only this were somewhere else, before–_  
  
Maia came, his release like a jolt of white heat through his lower body, the hand clenching his insides jerking down and out. He cried out wordlessly through the orgasm, the noise tailing into wet, ragged gasps. He felt light-headed; his fingers were numb. He was crying, still. He didn't know when he would stop.  
  
'We suppose he has been very good,' Tethimar said. He put his hand on the small of Csevet's back. 'Servicing the both of us, yet spent once only. Shall we reward him and even our accounts?'  
  
The words barely registered. Maia shuffled backwards, away from Tethimar, away from Csevet, prostrate on the floor before him. He wanted to get up and run, but he couldn't leave Csevet. He wanted to crawl out of sight, but there was nowhere to hide. And, after all, he was still emperor.  
  
He did up his trousers, wiping his face with his sleeve. He looked at the floor as Tethimar grasped Csevet by his hips and turned him over onto his back. With one hand pressed flat on Csevet's stomach, Tethimar took Csevet's cock in the other and began stroking, slow and steady and firm. Csevet's arms moved to his head, then back to clutch at the floor, flinching and restless. He turned his head, attempting to hide his face against his shoulder. His lips were still wet. At some point he had licked away the blood.  
  
_Shouldst not do something?_ Maia looked away but he could hear Csevet moan and stutter, exhausted, wrung out. He felt exhausted himself, aching, reeling with misery and shame and the aftermath of his orgasm. _What can I do? Ask very nicely for Tethimar to stop?  
  
Art not even trying. What art worth if thou dost not even try?_  
  
Maia closed his eyes, pressing his nails into the palms of his hands. _Nothing._ Csevet gasped. The dry sound of skin on stone. The sound of flesh on flesh. _To Csevet, art worth nothing. Worse than nothing. Thou broughtest this upon him. An didst not exist, he would not be here. He would not have had to – to thee–  
  
And still thou wallowest in self-pity whilst doing nothing._  
  
The words formed in the back of his throat and echoed about in his head, but his mouth refused to open. His shoulders were trembling. He should speak up. Push Tethimar away. No retribution could be worse than this abject uselessness here, now. That he had raped Csevet, and stood by and watched him be raped and done nothing.  
  
Why couldn't he speak? Hadn't he got past this? Hadn't Csevet always defended him when he needed it?  
  
What was wrong with him?  
  
Csevet said something, a word, one syllable too cracked to be intelligible. Then: 'Stop. Stop. Please stop.' He muffled himself with both hands, breathing through his nose, wet and irregular, but he still cried out, poorly stifled, breaking off raggedly.  
  
Tethimar sighed, a satisfied noise, barely audible above Csevet's panting. The sound still roared in Maia's ears.  
  
A new noise: Tethimar, standing and rearranging his clothes. Footsteps – Maia's eyes flew open, but Tethimar was walking away to sit on a bright-red armchair by the window. He crossed his legs and didn't say anything.  
  
A pause. Maia got up, stumbling as his legs refused to work, only to fall to his knees beside Csevet. He slid off his jacket, dropping it to the floor in his haste, and stripped off his shirt to lie it on Csevet. The soft grey-white silk draped over Csevet's body like a shroud, a contrast to the bruise-mottled and swelling-pink colour of his skin. Red smears on his thighs were still visible. In just his trousers and undershirt Maia hesitated, then placed his jacket over Csevet as well, covering his legs. After a moment Csevet's fingers curled around the hem of the shirt. He didn't open his eyes.  
  
'You may go, now,' Tethimar said to Maia, in the stillness that followed. 'But leave the whore. We will give him back tomorrow, perhaps.'  
  
Maia didn't react outwardly, but the grief and exhaustion and fear curled together into a maelstrom of sudden fury. 'He will come with us,' he said, voice low and trembling. 'We will never let you hurt him again.'  
  
A little voice in his head, nagging: _where canst keep him, away from Tethimar's reach? There is nowhere. Not here._ Maia stifled it.  
  
Tethimar laughed. 'Serenity,' he said, 'you fucked him no less than we did. He is a whore and you know it; what man would have submitted to us both as he did? Whom else would you have fucked? This is what he's made for, nothing more.'  
  
'How – how dare you.' Maia's hands balled into fists. 'He is ten times the man you are.'  
  
'And you wish to take him home with you, yes, we know. Just what do you think will happen, naïve one? Do you truly think he will come running to your arms for comfort, where he will weep prettily and thank you for saving him? That he can still work and everything will go back to normal? We will tell you, Serenity: he will resent you. He will flinch from your touch. He will avoid your gaze. He will no longer be able to work. And if he does weep and thank you, it will be because he fears you. He will never not be afraid, now. No; if you want to keep him, and we both know you do, then you must keep him in his place. And this,' Tethimar said, as he looked down at Csevet, 'is his place.'  
  
Maia shook his head. 'You are wrong.' His teeth were chattering and he clenched his jaw in an effort to stop them. The door behind him beckoned, and the desire to leave ached like a bruise.  
  
'Look at him. Has he moved towards you? Has he looked you in the eye? Perhaps our ears are still ringing because we do not hear him beg you not to leave him. We are right and you know it, though you remain stubborn. Teach him his place and he will be happier for it. He will feel secure. He will no longer fear you.' Tethimar smiled, very faintly. 'He may even love you again, in time.'  
  
'Csevet,' Maia said. His voice trembled. 'Come with us.'  
  
Tethimar's smile grew. 'Good! You are learning how to take command, at least.'  
  
'Csevet.' Maia's eyes watered as he stared hard at the floor two feet from Csevet's head. Csevet wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving?  
  
'Serenity.' Tethimar's voice had turned cool. 'He does not wish to go with you. Do what is best for him and leave.'  
  
Maia shook his head. Braids and silver jewellery flickered about him. 'We would have to be insane to believe you,' he spat. 'He is–' he looked at Csevet, still motionless. Was he injured worse than Maia had thought? 'He is hurt, and in pain, and–' _And we do not go to him for fear of him flinching from us._  
  
'You are still fighting,' Tethimar said. 'But it is already done. You have already lost.'  
  
Maia was saved from having to reply by movement on the floor: Csevet uncurling slowly, crawling to his knees, then staggering as he stood. He clutched Maia's shirt and jacket around himself like blankets. 'Serenity,' he said, barely a whisper. He swallowed and continued, voice a little stronger. 'Forgive us. We can both go, now.'  
  
Maia didn't dare move as Csevet managed to stumble to the door and pull it open, and only followed at a distance. He could feel Tethimar's amused eyes on his back. Outside Csevet waited for him to catch up and they walked through the corridors of Eshoravee together. The freezing wind outside was muffled but it still found its way in past the opulent tapestries picked over in Tethimada silk. The stone floor and walls radiated coldness. The imperial quarters – Maia's quarters – were barely a stone's throw away from Tethimar's, but they shuffled together at a snail's pace, and when Csevet stopped every few metres to lean against the wall, trembling and gasping, Maia stopped as well and averted his eyes to seek out the white thread on the tapestries.  
  
They finally stopped outside the door to the imperial quarters, where inside Cala and Beshelar lay unconscious, and Kiru, bone-tired, bleeding from a wound that would not close, kept them alive. Telimezh was – Maia did not know where Telimezh was, not any more. In the servant's room down the corridor Esha, Avris and Nemer were huddled together, heating water, cleaning clothes and sheets and bandages.  
  
'Serenity,' Csevet said; Maia paused with his hand on the doorknob. ' We will tell no one of what just happened. We swear we will take it to our grave. And... we will get you away from here. Soon. We promise.'  
  
Something rose up within Maia, like a deep well overflowing; he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. _Stupid,_ he thought, _stupid. Thou art not the one who is hurt. How canst still be so selfish?_ He blinked forcefully and looked away, then startled when Csevet's fingers brushed his cheek.  
  
'We will protect you until that happens, and afterwards too,' Csevet said. 'Whatever it takes.'  
  
Maia laughed, like a hiccup. 'We wish you would not,' he said, as his eyes unwillingly took in the blood-crusted bruise over Csevet's left eye and cheekbone, the bruises circling his neck, and the hunched way he stood. The redness and slight swelling of his lips. How not so very long ago Csevet would never have suffered such impropriety as to touch his emperor's jacket sleeve, let alone his face.  
  
Csevet smiled, slight, awkward and false, and the motion showed up as pain in his eyes. 'Then, Serenity, that is the one wish we will not be able to honour.'  
  
His fingers were still on Maia's face – Maia reached up to touch them, and Csevet flinched away.  
  
The moment shattered, like pottery, revealing the ugly thing inside. A heartbeat of silence, then another. 'Serenity,' Csevet said, looking down, ears flattening. 'It is – let us go inside. It is warmer there, at least.'


End file.
